Someone I never met.

I convinced myself it was all my fault. I should have done better.

I avoid laying down to go to sleep because as soon as I hit the bed I'm alone with all of my thoughts. My brain has finally stopped distracting itself from the things that are breaking my heart. And all I can do is cry. My eyes are so swollen and dark it looks like more than just my heart is broken. Crying so hard that you go numb and feel nothing anymore. Being so angry and upset at everything but not being able to explain why. Trying to be happy that your baby never knew anything other than love. And missing someone so dearly that you never even met. It's a pain no one can describe. Because how can you properly grieve someone you never got to meet?